Neneng: Life Lessons from an MDW

"Don’t make everything too hard for yourself. If there is a problem, solve it as quickly as possible. Because if you wait, the problem gets more and more complicated.”
 

The life of a domestic worker is unpredictable, it’s a life of many hardships and challenges, but Neneng demonstrates how to be a beacon of support and inspiration within her community and how she lives out the best version of her life with what she has and a positive outlook on life. She possesses the rare ability to manipulate challenges and negative experiences into learning experiences and wishes to share her philosophies on how she achieves that.

Neneng, who has been working in Singapore for 11 years, is a single mother from Indonesia who is working to support her children’s education. She’s a woman with many dreams and aspirations, working hard by attending classes and courses offered by the NGO in financing and money management as she hopes to go back to Indonesia and start her own business once her children finish their education.

When Neneng first came to Singapore, she had a very low salary, which was not sufficient to send her son to university. In an attempt to earn more money, she took extra jobs on her off-days, but she soon realized that wasn’t the solution. Neneng also tried to earn a higher salary through transfers between employers, not all of which turned out smoothly. One of her transfers was especially rough with the employer unwilling to sign the release paper so she was forced to return to Indonesia before being able to work again in Singapore.

But even after experiencing these difficulties, when Neneng is asked about her outlook on her life in Singapore, she replies with a smile and a passionate response “I love Singapore!” From all aspects of her life, she feels supported and happy – she feels supported not only by her employer but also by her friends and family, not only that but Ne-ning also finds meaning behind her struggles and job which makes for a positive lifestyle.

Currently, Neneng has a healthy relationship with her employer, who assists her medical needs by paying for medicine and insisting on getting Neneg monthly checkups to ensure her health and safety. Neneng’s employer also makes sure that she is well-rested and not overworked, by ensuring that her shift ends at 9:30 pm latest everyday.

If there is something I don’t like I will tell them. If there is something I need I will ask for it.”

Neneng has known many workers who’ve lived through rough experiences with their employers, and she encourages these workers to communicate with their employers. She recognizes that fear of being sent home or punished by employers is the main reason that workers become stuck in abusive or difficult employment circumstances. Many workers also feel wary of having to transfer and settle into a new household. But rather than keeping problems to themselves out of fear, Neneng believes that workers must communicate as it is a key factor in maintaining strong and healthy employment relationships. If there is a problem, workers shouldn’t be afraid to talk to their employers about the issue. They should become active agents who initiate change.

Don’t make everything too hard for yourself. If there is a problem, solve it as quickly as possible. Because if you wait, the problem gets more and more complicated.”

Neneng has given this advice to many of her friends who find themselves stuck in abusive employment relationships. However, with more complicated situations, such as those concerning workers’ salaries, she would bring workers straight to the Centre of Domestic Employees for more professional help.

During the pandemic, the separation between Neneng and her children has been difficult. The last time she saw them was two years ago (pre-pandemic). But she feels proud and content with herself, knowing she is actively supporting her children’s education and sending them into a bright future. 

Neneng finds meaning in her job, even in its mundanities, which mostly consist of taking care of newborns or young children. She’s decided that they are easier to take care of compared to older children who often throw tantrums and display rudeness and aggression. Neneng has also formed deep emotional bonds and created joyful memories with these children. For Neng,  it’s a joy to take care of children because she understands their needs and enjoys their presence of children.

We try to enjoy the life we can–we don’t think too much because we stress when we think too much.”

Neneng is a strong woman who always manages to get herself out of a negative situation. She’s also a woman who finds joy in her life, whether it’s exploring the city or when she’s taking care of children. She truly is an inspiration to all, and we can each take Nening’s philosophy and enthusiasm to bring us a little bit further in life.